skip to main |
skip to sidebar
back from the south coast.
where the boys are gorgeous.
the waves are sweet.
and the whole experience is wonderful.
now i've been going to that place since i was 2 maybe.
and i had never gone to look for friends or pick-up.
mainly because i was fat and ugly.
this year i went with two girl i consider my absolute best friends.
one girl i have known since year 1 and the other has been there through high school.
i love em.
anyway.
we met some boys.
major cuties.
but i'm not like other girls.
i have trouble flirting, talking, acting confident with boys in that situation.
like at work i'm fine talking with boys and other guy friends.
but when they guys look that good.
its a little indimatating for a girl that looks like me.
anyways.
i passed up a hook up.
eh big deal.
but he was a hottie aye.
they were pretty good kids.
sweet and nice.
funny as.
the rest of the holiday was swell.
didn't get burnt once which is amazing.
train ride back was pretty awesomee.
overall best time i had down there.
yesterday i went shopping.
i buy to much jewellery >___<
i'm now in the process of untangleing my necklaces and such.
i only buy the $5 sale items, because i just do haha.
but when ever i where my jewellery no one else has it.
i'm in a state of mind where i need to get fit.
i need to change the way i look.
tone up.
lose weight.
i'd be happy just being a nice size 14.
i wanna look good.
i need motivation.
and company.
i can't do it on my own.
i can't do alot of things on my own.
people are starting to shock me.
like i don't wanna end up like them.
like i'm at a good size.
i just needa tone up.
on my holiday i just wore a bikini.
i've never done that before.
ever.
and it was weird.
but i was like i could do this all the time i just needa tone up and lose a little weight.
xx
[insert: webcam on holidays]
SATURDAY!
i leave on saturday.
to the south coast.
yum.
with my dearest friends.
shall be awesomee.
me and a lovely girl.
just got to thinking.
sidekicks are cute.
robin - batman (batman and robin 60's)
ron weasly - harry potter (harry potter)
sid - tony (skins)
peter parker - harry osborn (spiderman)
evan -seth (superbad)
seth - ryan (the oc)
duckie - andy (pretty in pink)
and the geeky guy in tv shows and movies.
dan humphries.
seth cohen.
evan/paulie bleeker.
brian johnson.
duckie.
ron weasly.
they might not get the girls in the shows/movies.
but they win my heart everytime.
also gossip girl.
yes the gift from god gossip girl.
blair is love.
i wish i had her awesome wardrobe.
she has the best outfits. and the best hair.
shes so pretty.
i love the dreams she has of audrey hepburns characters in movies.
shes awesomee.
and gossip girl just keeps getting better and better!
love it!
xx
[insert: blair <3]
mmm movies.
went a saw slumdog millionaire today.
finally!
sure to be in my favourites.
funny.
sad.
beautiful.
everythingg.
great movie.
and of course in true indian film style.
a dance sequnce at the end.
:)
it's great.
and has the cute indian guy from skins in it.
on another note.
i'm turning 18.
and due to my love of alice in wonderland.
i think i might have a mad hatters tea party :). friends can dress either like a character from alice in wonderland.
or like a cute dresses and stuff.
:)
great day full of cupcakes and tea.
shall sing happy birthday and happy unbirthday.
:) haha.
OH so excited.
can't wait for tim burtons alice in wonderland.
:)
i love tim burton films.
ever since edward scissorhands.
nightmare before christmas, beetlejuice and sleepy hollow have to be the stand out favourites.
but by the leaked pitcute of johnny depp has the mad hatter.
it shall be in true tim burton awesome style.
*swoon*.
can't wait till 2010 when it comes out. full of great actors too. perfect for their roles.
xx
[insert: movie poster for slumdog millionaire and johnny depp as the mad hatter.]
right.
i went to the beach yesterday.
with a few people.
and i was the second eldest.
alot were 15/16.
we went to bronte beach.
near bondi.
and in the news lately.
theres been alot of press about topless women on the beach.
some of the boys were oggling at the women and im like you have the same thing, yet you're not critised.
and one boy was like i agree.
i say whatever.
whats the big deal.
it's the same thing as a man with no shirt.
men and women have the same parts.
some of ours are inverted or bigger.
i don't get it.
reasons why.
1. they tell us to be comfortable with ourselves.
and being able to be topless at a public area is the ultimate definition of being comfortable with yourself.
2. they say it'll scare the children, its a public place.
children are breast feed as babies.
and if they have babie brothers and sisters or friends with babies and brothers and sisters they would see their mothers breast feed therefore breasts are exposed.
3. they don't parade around.
they stay to themselves.
if they were cocky about it.
then yeah it might be a problem.
it's the human body.
men have breasts too.
just flatter.
unless they're over weight.
i just don't get it!
besides that.
the beach was good ^___^
except i'm sunburnt.
first time in ages.
xx
why why why why!
why do they do that.
they know i work.
they know i need to know things in advance
then they make it out to be my fault.
gahh.
its a dinner.
you need money for dinner.
and to get money you need a job.
which half of them don't have.
just because they're free to organise things whenever hoping for people
to join.
gahhh.
why don't boys like me.
like gah.
is it my height?
my awkwardness?
is it all my beautiful friends they're attracted to and not ugly old me?
is it me body?
i usually have high self esteem but the lack of adorment brings it down.
iunno if thats shallow.
but everyone needs someone to love.
and everyone needs to feel love.
people who say different are probably lying and making themselves seem tougher than they are.
one boyfriend.
one boyfriend.
should i even call him that?
didn't even like me.
he liked my closest friend.
and still decided to give me false feelings.
and i broke it off
and he pretty much called me the monster.
how does that even work.
and this was when i was 17.
i'll be 18 soon.
i'm unlike the others.
they get excited.
they can party.
drink alcohol.
and all that other stuff.
that doesn't intrest me.
not one bit.
and when i turn 18.
what am i excited for.
nothing.
no party - i have a fear of inviting people caused by the fear of rejection
no alcohol - i hate the stuff, the way it changes people.
no clubbing - i dislike the sort of people there and the music and i'm a terrible dancer.
i have nothing to be excited for.
18 is just another number.
back to the boy issue.
sure i'm young.
theres many years to come.
but i was young love.
summer love.
flings.
all that business.
i still have all my innocence intacted.
except lip virginity.
will i really end up a 40 year old virgin.
because in my head that is what i see.
i can't see myself married.
i can't see myself with children.
i can't see myself happy.
why is that.
i don't understand.
i really don't.
i'm a hopeless romantic.
i should have those dreams all the time.
or maybe i'm expecting to much for life.
and because of that.
i'll end up with nothing.
nothing at all.
massive rant.
-____-
xx
well...
my friend got me thinking.
"you and your movies" he's right.
i do watch alot of films.
they make me happy and give me false hopes and a tonne of dreams.
but i don't mind.
from alfred hitchcock classics to the saw saga and everything else including comedies, musicals, bgrades, indies and all that jazz.
i can sit down with friends and know exactly what going on and explain the movie to them.
like on nye well day.
channel 7 were playing moulin rouge.
it was like the last half hour and i could explain the whole movie and even repeat the lines.
one boy was like you watch alot of movies don't you and im like yes.
yes i do.
moulin rouge is great though.
but there is one film i will try to advoid seeing my whole life and that is twilight.
i'm anti-twilight.
iunno why.
just am.
probably because of all the teeny bopper fans who probably didn't know what a vampire was.
or heard of any other vampire love stories before.
they probably don't know how to kill a vampire -___-
which i know how to thanks to my excellent film watching abilities.
theres just something about film thats so awesome.
i wish i was in marie antoinette just to wear their beautiful costumes.
ahh films.
i love em.
xx
[insert: famous shower scene from alfred hitchcock's psycho 1960]
Michael Austin Cera! beautiful.
canadian.
funny.
awesome.
from being george micheal bluth to paulie bleeker.
marry me? BRET (not brit) and JEMAINE (not jermaine)mmm love em.
so quirky and unique and tres funny.
best thing since michael cera!
xx[insert: michael austin cera.]
recap of 2008!
-final year of high school
-many friends
-first kiss
-first boyfriend
-lost friends -passed classes
-failed classes
-friendships with teachers
-more happy with myself
-established a great self esteem
-graduated
-finished final exams
2008 was the best year so far.
i turned 17.
this year i'll be 18. final childhood year.
times are changingg.
crazy.
xx
[insert: spiderman collection]
