south coast love.

back from the south coast.

where the boys are gorgeous.
the waves are sweet.
and the whole experience is wonderful.

now i've been going to that place since i was 2 maybe.
and i had never gone to look for friends or pick-up.
mainly because i was fat and ugly.

this year i went with two girl i consider my absolute best friends.
one girl i have known since year 1 and the other has been there through high school.
i love em.

anyway.
we met some boys.
major cuties.
but i'm not like other girls.
i have trouble flirting, talking, acting confident with boys in that situation.
like at work i'm fine talking with boys and other guy friends.
but when they guys look that good.
its a little indimatating for a girl that looks like me.

anyways.
i passed up a hook up.
eh big deal.
but he was a hottie aye.

they were pretty good kids.
sweet and nice.
funny as.

the rest of the holiday was swell.
didn't get burnt once which is amazing.
train ride back was pretty awesomee.
overall best time i had down there.


yesterday i went shopping.
i buy to much jewellery >___<
i'm now in the process of untangleing my necklaces and such.
i only buy the $5 sale items, because i just do haha.
but when ever i where my jewellery no one else has it.


i'm in a state of mind where i need to get fit.
i need to change the way i look.
tone up.
lose weight.
i'd be happy just being a nice size 14.
i wanna look good.
i need motivation.
and company.
i can't do it on my own.
i can't do alot of things on my own.
people are starting to shock me.
like i don't wanna end up like them.
like i'm at a good size.
i just needa tone up.

on my holiday i just wore a bikini.
i've never done that before.
ever.
and it was weird.
but i was like i could do this all the time i just needa tone up and lose a little weight.


xx

[insert: webcam on holidays]