4 DAYS!

4 days till i leave for europe.
that is all.

Formspringer's are so nice.

  mood: tired.
listening to: ross nobles smooth voicee.
reading: Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
last meal: citrus cheesecake youghurt.
current annoyance: retards.

i was going to delete it.
but i kept it and im glad i did.
i realise how low humans beings are posting things saying
"whale"
uhh that's not even a question.
what i love most of all are the ones that type the cruel things can't even spell or string words into a sentences.
so today i have discovered that i am "a whale, thats what you are, you are the biggest of joanna's friends and you have a big head too"
so apparently it's my fault that my genetics have given me a long face. ah well.
and a whale i think not.
as a matter of fact im loosing weight and as i stated to that formspringer, theres a tonne of people alot bigger than me and they are no where near a whale's size.
and as a matter of fact i am also close to the size of my dearest marilyn monroe, and she WAS NOT A WHALE!
i makes me laugh that this formspringer has seen me numerous times and still hasn't said it to my face.

but for every cristicism i get on formspring, i get compliments 3 fold.
which i think is quite good.

BTW
happy birthday RON!
and happy birthday JOANNA!
and 11 days to europe.

Hopeless.

i'm hopeless, a hopeless wreck.
i wish i was better at life.
i wish i wasn't me.
i fail at life, i have no friends, and the ones i have i fear hate me deep inside.
no one wants to be around me.
i fail at everything i attempt.
i have no motivation what so ever, so intrest in future studies or work path.
i talk about myself to much.
im annoying.
im a bitch.
i hate myself so much, i hate the way i look, facially and whole body.
when i go on holidays i feel like just staying there away from everyone i know.
start new.
or throw myself off a bridge.
im a waste of space.
my grave would be a waste of space.
I WISH I KNEW WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME!

don't try and cheer me up, it won't work.
im in a depressive state.
fuck.

my life as i know it.

 mood: ehhh.
listening to: Hella Good - No Doubt
reading: Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
last meal: dinner.
current annoyance: everything.

life is very much confusing at the moment.

i leave for europe and im not even excited anymore.
my sister pisses me off.
and im stressed about money and other such things.
and just pretty much being embarrassed by my sister.

and love life is non-exsistant again.
although i had a dream about someone the other week and now i can't stop thinking about him. which is not too good.
i don't even know him that well >_<
nor do i like him that way. but my dreams are telling me differently.
iunno tres confused.
as always.

also.
i'm quite pissed of at a certain someone who's single-handedly trying to ruin a friendship.
how dare they but into something that does not concern them what so ever.
and commenting on my life which they know nothing about.
and telling untrue things to someone i hold dear to my heart.
grow up, you're pathetic.

well i guess in the simplest form my life is shit at the moment.
i just feel down all the time.
i act happy but under the surface in crumbling to the ground.
im sick of the tears.
and the i don't even know why i am like this which makes me more upset.
FML

peedotess  - i got glasses :)