4 DAYS!

4 days till i leave for europe.
that is all.

Formspringer's are so nice.

  mood: tired.
listening to: ross nobles smooth voicee.
reading: Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
last meal: citrus cheesecake youghurt.
current annoyance: retards.

i was going to delete it.
but i kept it and im glad i did.
i realise how low humans beings are posting things saying
"whale"
uhh that's not even a question.
what i love most of all are the ones that type the cruel things can't even spell or string words into a sentences.
so today i have discovered that i am "a whale, thats what you are, you are the biggest of joanna's friends and you have a big head too"
so apparently it's my fault that my genetics have given me a long face. ah well.
and a whale i think not.
as a matter of fact im loosing weight and as i stated to that formspringer, theres a tonne of people alot bigger than me and they are no where near a whale's size.
and as a matter of fact i am also close to the size of my dearest marilyn monroe, and she WAS NOT A WHALE!
i makes me laugh that this formspringer has seen me numerous times and still hasn't said it to my face.

but for every cristicism i get on formspring, i get compliments 3 fold.
which i think is quite good.

BTW
happy birthday RON!
and happy birthday JOANNA!
and 11 days to europe.

Hopeless.

i'm hopeless, a hopeless wreck.
i wish i was better at life.
i wish i wasn't me.
i fail at life, i have no friends, and the ones i have i fear hate me deep inside.
no one wants to be around me.
i fail at everything i attempt.
i have no motivation what so ever, so intrest in future studies or work path.
i talk about myself to much.
im annoying.
im a bitch.
i hate myself so much, i hate the way i look, facially and whole body.
when i go on holidays i feel like just staying there away from everyone i know.
start new.
or throw myself off a bridge.
im a waste of space.
my grave would be a waste of space.
I WISH I KNEW WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME!

don't try and cheer me up, it won't work.
im in a depressive state.
fuck.

my life as i know it.

 mood: ehhh.
listening to: Hella Good - No Doubt
reading: Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
last meal: dinner.
current annoyance: everything.

life is very much confusing at the moment.

i leave for europe and im not even excited anymore.
my sister pisses me off.
and im stressed about money and other such things.
and just pretty much being embarrassed by my sister.

and love life is non-exsistant again.
although i had a dream about someone the other week and now i can't stop thinking about him. which is not too good.
i don't even know him that well >_<
nor do i like him that way. but my dreams are telling me differently.
iunno tres confused.
as always.

also.
i'm quite pissed of at a certain someone who's single-handedly trying to ruin a friendship.
how dare they but into something that does not concern them what so ever.
and commenting on my life which they know nothing about.
and telling untrue things to someone i hold dear to my heart.
grow up, you're pathetic.

well i guess in the simplest form my life is shit at the moment.
i just feel down all the time.
i act happy but under the surface in crumbling to the ground.
im sick of the tears.
and the i don't even know why i am like this which makes me more upset.
FML

peedotess  - i got glasses :)

Re-cap Of January.

mood: slighty hyped
listening to: Broken Leg - Bluejuice
reading: Through The Looking Glass and What Alice Found There
last meal: i can't even remember it was that long ago.
current annoyance: absolutely NOTHINGGG.

So i have pretty much devoted my life to tumblr,
sorry my dearest blog.

so heres my re-cap of this past month.

- aftermath of NYE and the stories people have told me other night before.
- me and joanna breaking down and singing fleetwood mac in the bathroom.
- work work work
- finally putting in my passport form.
- NEARLY DYING IN THE VALLEY!
- having my ipod and camera stolen in the valley
- setting off fireworks at 3am, just coz its how we rolll.
- spending three days at jess' just swimming day and night.
- spliting my knee open on my ab circle pro!
- BIG DAY OUT!
- Lisa Mitchell raging at us.
- twilight zone at jess' party.
- MY BROTHER WALKING HOME FROM THE VALLEY AND NOT TELLING ME AT 2AM!
- wanting to punch a certain someone in the face!
- new jeans :)
- countdown for alice in wonderland, MCR and Europe!

and im pretty sure thats all the highlights.
:)

VOW RE-VISITED!

i vow to read 100 books.

which will be a challenge seeing as im a slow book reader.
i shall write the list here and cross it off as a go with a little comment on the book :) :

1. My Booky Wook - Russell Brand:
   an eye-opening auto biography by a  in my eyes an amazing young man, who has gone through so much in such a short life but now is making a change for the better.
2. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
3. Perfume - Patrick Suskind:
   beautiful beautiful beautiful. the way suskind writes makes you feel as if you are jean-baptiste grenouille enjoying these aromas. but with someone with such a gift who becomes such a monster with no remorse what so ever is amazing.
4. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess:
   extremely difficult to read although great book about the culture of young people and what alex and his droogs, who eventually go against him sending him to prison to get back on the straight a narrow.
5. The Adventues of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass
6. Breakfast at Tiffanys - Truman Capote:
   oh dearest Holly Golightly your life is somewhat tragic yet magical. i wish i was like you.
7. The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas - John Boyne
8. Pygmalion - George Shaw
9. To Kill A Mocking Bird - Harper Lee
10. The Diary Of Anne Frank - Anne Frank
11. Lord Of The Flies - William Golding
12. The Princess Bride - William Goldman
13. The Joy Luck Club - Amy Tan
14. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kessy
15. High Fiedelity - Nick Hornby
16. Flowers in the Attic - V.C Andrews
17. Petals on the Wind - V.C Andrews
18. If There Be Thorns - V.C Andrews
19. Seeds of Yesterday - V.C Andrews
20. Gardens Of Shadows - V.C Andrews
21. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J.K Rowling
22. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - J.K Rowling
23. Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix - J.K Rowling
24. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - J.K Rowling
25. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K Rowling
26.  Dead Poet's Society - Nancy H. Klienbaum
    
27.  The Cider House Rules - John Irving
    
28.  Specials - Scott Westerfeld
    
29.  The Pact - Jodi Picoult
    
30.  The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
    
31.  Lord Of The Rings: Fellowship Of The Ring - J.R.R Tolkien
    
32.  Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers - J.R.R Tolkien
    
33.  Lord Of The Rings:  Return Of The King
    
34.  The Hobbit - J.R.R Tolkien
    
35.  The Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett
    
36.  The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
    
37.  Picnic At Hanging Rock - Joan Lindsay
    
38.  Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
    
39.  Romeo & Juliet - William Shakespeare
    
40.  The Magic Pudding - Norman Lindsay
    
41.  The Wonderfull Wizard Of Oz - L. Frank Baum
    
42.  The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
    
43.  Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
    
44.  Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
45. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
46. Going Solo - Ronald Dahl
47. The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde:An amazing novel about a young man who makes a deal to stay young and beautiful forever, by doing that pretty much tests the boundaries with every sin under the sun, but his society no better and turn against him when the realise what happens, such and eye-opening book, you can't help bad feel a little sorry for someone with such a curse, but you realise how much of a monster he really is, oh Dorian.
48. Northern Lights - Philip Pullman
49. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
50. The Crucible - Arthur Miller
51. The Life Of Pi - Paun Martel
52. War Of The Worlds - H.G Wells
53. A Journey To The Centre Of The Earth - Jules Verne
54. Interview With A Vampire - Anne Rice
55. The Vampire Lestat - Anne Rice
56. Queen Of The Damned - Anne Rice
57. Frankenstien - Mary Shelley
58. Dracula - Bram Stroker
59. 1984 - George Orwell
60. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
61. Little Women - Louisa Alcott
62. Slumdog Millionaire - Vikas Swaryp
63. Marilyn Monroe - Barbara Leaming
64. Catcher in the Rye - J.D Salinger
65. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - F. Scott Fitzgerald
66. Gone With The Wind - Margret Mitchell
67. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
68. Wind In The Willows - Kenneth Grahame
69. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
70. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Dernieres
71. Memoirs Of A Geisha - Arthur Golden
72. Anne Of Green Gables - L.M Montgomery
73. Atonement - Ian McEwan
74. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
75. Oh Mice and Men - John Stienbeck
76. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
77. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
78. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Ronald Dahl
79. The Colour Purple - Alice Walker
80. The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne
81. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
82. Peter Pan - J.M. Barrie
83. Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters - Jane Austen & Ben H. Winters
84. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith
85. Fierce - Kelly Osbourne
86. Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
87. The Jungle Book - Rugyard Kipling
88. The Lovely Bones - Alice Seobold
89. The Time Travellers Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
90. Water For Elephants - Sara Gruen
91. Emma - Jane Austen
92. The Adventures Of Huckleberry finn - Mark Twain
93. The Witches of Eastwick - John Updike
94. The Beach - Alex Garland
95. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
96. Animal Farm - George Orwell
97. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Othello - William Shakespeare
100. The Outsiders - S.E Hinton

2010.

haven't blogged in awhile.

i've been somewhat, lack of a better word, depressed.
it's been terrible.
and why?
i have no idea.
but i guess thats suposed to happen.
started with friends.
then crushes.
then my own being.
then my family.
and my future.

just cascaded into one and i couldn't handle it.
and i broke.
i broke myself of from everyone.
cried ALOT!
but i think im getting better.
i HOPE i'm getting better.

a new year.
a new start to an old life.

xx

I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school...

I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

SERIOUSLY!

this is stupid!

i see no point in what is happening. i know i don't know the full story, but what i hear i don't like.
hurting others who have to part in it either.
im like switzerland, neutral, fence sitter.
i'm not for any side.
but i don't wanna be torn between people i love.
thats my part.

i want your ugly, i want your disease, i want your everything as long as its free.

soo i totally changed up my layout.

as much as i love lady gaga i rather kirsten dunst as marie antoinette :)

so its summer.

i hate summer.

i love winter.

:)

im getting all crafty!

with buttons!

i made a few button bracelets and now im gonna customise mittens for when i go to europe so i look tres chic ^___^

props to T for the idea though.

it's good i needa use my left side of my brain a little moree.

just needa find more activities to do, so i don't go out spending money on stupid stuff.

naww i love the blur "coffee and tv" clip soo much.

Je veux ton amour Et je veux ta revanche Je veux ton amour

xx

at first when see you cry, yeah it makes me smile.

today is december first.

i have put up the christmas tree by myself because my family is a bunch of Ebenezer Scrooge's

BAH HUMBUG!

well im not!

i have already given my own gift to myself.

an early christmas present, isn't much.

but means alot.

its a state of mind i have come across and hopefully can keep for the rest of my years.

it's a boost of confidence which was in a double pack with "i don't care about silly stuff anymore"

so pretty much i'm becoming something that is truly myself.

no trying to put myself out there just to be pummeled but the cruel world.

because i don't care about that anymore.

im finally comfortable with myself, im comfortable in my own skin and i didn't get there by myself either.

but thats my gift to myself.

being december, christmas is coming up.

along with ulladulla for a week, and my brothers party.

should be sweet as :)

xx

they gave us two shots to the back of the head.

OMG i love my daisy with an "s" soooo muchhh.

because she is planning to purchase tickets to see my first husband gerard way.

thats right MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!

aghh so excited seriouslyy.

everytime they come out i can't go, same with this year coz its two week before i go to europe, but now i cann :)

hopefully that is.

so i went to my friends 19th the other week, stayed the night.

i came home in time for dinner and this is how it went down.

MUM: so did you meet any boys at the party last night sarah?

SARAH: noo, i know all of them they're from work.

MUM: so did you met any from work?

SARAH: nahh they're lame, well not lame, just friends.

MUM: ahh well.

DAD: you don't need boys stick to girls.
MUM: yeah boys are stupid.

SARAH: oh yeah totally.

love how my parents think im a lesbian because i don't have a bf.

the used to seriously think i was one once upon a time, they sat me down and asked me if i was a lesbian, my mum was like it's okay if you are.

god damn.

xx

we kick them to the kirb unless they look like mick jagger.

long time no write.

christmas is coming, pretty much bought all my christmas presents.

and while i was doing so i came across an AWESOMEEE charm site.

bought myself a really cute charm for my bracelet.

its a comet with stars, its next to my space shuttle, and mummy bought me a giraffe yesterday.

and my sister bought me an alice in wonderland charm for christmas.

excited for a few things in the horizon.

where the wild things are movie.

BIG DAY OUT.

dorian gray movie (hopefully i can read the book before i see it, but haven't been reading perfume lately)
christmas

and of course my europe trip :)

so my birthday will occur while holidaying so my sister booked an overnight trip to venice for my birthday :)

so very excited.

and when i come back im gonna buy a charm to signify each country i visited.

but on a very sad note.

one of my closest friends was involved in a car accident.

she was in hospital.

but she okay noww.

iunno what would happen if she got badly injured.

i love her too much.

best wishes tash.

xx

[insert - comet charm]

We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems

With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world’s great cities.
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion art empire’s glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song’s measure
Can trample an empire down.

We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth.
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself with our mirth;
And o’erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world’s worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.

totally wish i was katy perry right now.
SIGH!

maddison lynda brassil.

mood: content
listening to: popular - wicked soundtrack.
reading: perfume - story of a muderer.
last meal: roast chicken and veggies with oj, yum yum.
current annoyance: confusing crush.

i shall welcome to the world my niece maddison lynda brassil who was born on the 4th of october 2009 at 3:33am.


shes gorgeous!
she looks like a female verison of my nephew shaun.
i've been to visit her twice she sleeps the whole timee, never cries.


she has sandy blonde hair and dark blue eyes.

cutest thing in the world.


i haven't slept properly in days.


went to be on saturday at 10pm, woke up at 11pm to go to my sisters and look after shaun, didn't sleep, shaun woke up at 3am and we watched tv and read books, mum came and picked me up at 5am and went to sleep, woke up at 10 and went to see the baby, then went shopping. went to bed at 11am, woke up at 5:30am went to work, came back from work went the hospital again.


gahhh.


but all for a good cause.


xx


[insert: maddison and me.]

why must girls have such strong emotions. some can say they are as hard as stone but you know deep down inside is a delicate flower being weighed down by the emotion her body can not take.

i am deffinately not one of those girls.
i let my emotions show.
not only do i let them show, i sucumb to my emotions.
and because of this, i fall for people too easily. i also trust to easily
i've tried not to, i can't help it.

it's all emotions, sadness, happines, angriness etc etc that body is overwhelmed with.
i believe the thing in life i want, it what every person in the world wants; someone to have, to love them back.
and i strive for that. but i never get it.

so i've decided to stop thinking like a girl, stop letting my emotions show. stop getting down over the smallest things, i'm going to be strong.
act like a woman think like a man.
i will no longer be the bunny, i will be the bunny in the panther suit.

this time baby i'll be bulletproof.

LA ROUX WAS AMAZING!


so i went an saw la roux last nightt.
they were amazingg.
the drummer danced funny.
i like looking at the different intrument players.
its as if they don't realise anyones watching them.


they snyths/backing stuff has some issues in the middle of bulletproof but they were so lovely and started again which i thought was quite nice.


i think im getting terribly sick.
been sneezing non-stop.
i never sneeze.
gahh.


hopefully i get to go to kisschasy on saturday nightt.
i love them soo.
<3
i must stop going to so many gigs/concerts >_<



xx

YO! sydney i'm ma let you finish, but mars has the best dust storms of all time!

OF ALL TIMEE!

mood: cheerful :D
listening to: pokerface - lady gaga (cherry tree sessions).
reading: perfume - story of a muderer.
last meal: basil pesto pasta.
current annoyance: confusing crush.

so clearly (well wasn't so clear) today sydney had a lovely red glow.
i woke up at 5am to go work and im like why do i feel like im in kansas and my house is about to land on a witch.
so eerie.
my throat is blocked with red dust, yum.

speaking of witches,
saw wicked on sunday.
FREAKIN' AWESOMEEE!
i loved itttt.
soooooooo much.
one of the best musicals i have seen.
so amazing.
and the way they tie it in with wizard of oz is so cleverr and the ending.
amazing.

totally obsessed with lady gagas accoustic ep.
shes soo amazing.
her accoustic stuff sounds better then her released stuff, in my opinion.

la roux on tuesday next week.
quite excited.

crushes are tres confusingg.
ughh.
i feel like giving up.
seriously.

one thing im known for are my totally cool tees.
i have a few awesome ones.
my latest ones.
a yellow tee with three bananas in sunnies with the words "cool bananas" underneath.
and i bought a "weasly is my king" tee and a where the wild things are shirt.
and a few miss shop tees
i love miss shop.
best dresses and tees.
and they fit perfectly.

wells must be off to bed.

xx

[insert = the day sydney fell on mars]

brooches!

so this is my collection of lovely brooches.
:)
they're so pretty.
and look perfect on my cardigans.
and they shall look even more perfect on my vests for summer.

THE BOWS:
goldie; purchased from lifeline for about $5 pretty cute, nice size
lacey emerald; newy, purchased yesterday - tag said $20 mum got it for $5 :)
diamond lace; favourite. it's amazing, same place as goldie, i saw it and was in love, i had to have it. so pretty.


THE HEARTS:
the variety club; i have two, one from an op shop and the other was my mums and i stole it :)
they're cute simple and nicee. the perfect touch.
spotty; from and op shop thought it was cutee.
big heart; newly bought yesterday, pretty big, but cutee, more of a bag brooch.

THE RANDOMS:
bow and teacup; mum saw and thought of me, was my first brooch so cutee. dangles which i love.
purple and blue love birds; looks perfect on my purple cardi, newly bought
ruby slippers; from ebay, for wicked musical and its pretty big and the slippers actually have glittler :)
cameo; i like how is looks vintage when i bought it from a $2 store :) its pretty i like it, i want more cameos

THE ROSES:
white; from my mums jewellery collection
pink; from and op shop both are really beautiful haven't worn them out yet though.

NANANANANANA BATMAN:
this one.
i saw it.
i bought it.
how could i possibly pass up a chance to have this.
from 1987 so awesomee.

BADGES:
along with my brooches i have alot of badges.
recently made a bunch myself.
like 6 alice ones and the others are pretty random.


and thats my collection :)
i want moreee.
most are from op-shops so pretty good prices.

xx

quick update before my computer diess.

bought la roux tickets.
going to buy soundwave tickets.
sadly haven't been saving lately for europe.
need too.
stupid birthdays and stuff get in the way.

rooms in progress.
framed two things.
13 more to go then hanging time.

wicked soon.
can not waitt.

on my 4th book on my list.
can't read much due to work >_<
but perfume is pretty good.

and i've been making cakes and stuff like a true susie homemaker :)

and thats that.

xx